A lot has happened since then.
My parents came to visit in the beginning of the month. although they had tried to arrive weeks earlier, they came right when they were meant to.
People come and go year after year, blood pumping through this old, hollow bunker. Xavier reminds you that you are yet another spirit to posses it.
In December I applied to a program at Boston College; a Masters Degree in Curriculum and Instruction in exchange for service to Xavier (with classwork and conferencing) to become a better teacher, under a 2 year contract. It's more complicated than that, but in a coconut shell...yeah.
I had gotten an email from BC on the day of my parents arrival to Chuuk, telling me that I had been accepted into the program. I assumed it was the program I had applied for, and was ecstatic until Charlie assured me that this was only half the battle won.
I then learned:
1. Xavier does not have the "facilities" to accommodate a new teacher like myself in the program through BC.
2. If I don't get into the Boston program at Xavier, (which I clearly had not) I can't come back to Xavier. Period. Which, by the way, was the only thing that I DID want.
"We feel that we don't have the facilities or the tools that you need. How would you feel about moving to Boston?"
First off, shock. And a sick sense that my dream was dead in my arms.
1 week of tossing and turning (I swear it was a month)
Sleep and weight lost... but an inch gained to my skin.
The last conversation that I had with Charlie felt too emotionally driven
(I don't even know what to feel)
so when I got another email from him, again, I was surprised.
"looking into a special opportunity for you." he says. I'm not sure what that means, but my future is waiting on his follow up... I swear the only thing keeping me well are my students.
I won't hold my breath.
(I cant really breathe at this point anyway.)
Heartbreak, strengthen me.
No comments:
Post a Comment