Return to Coldville

I forgot how aggressive Ohio makes me. It could be a mix of things; A little of my mind worn away from the constant grinding of my mother's CNN programming in the background, and the incessant knock knock knocking on my door when my parents decide that it's time that I get up NOW because my life is a waste otherwise, or the fact that it's 55F outside in June, raining and grey, the fact that my friends put more pressure on me that anyone to see them and SEE THEM NOW, or it's decided that i'm not a good friend, and I never make time to see them on their strict schedule because i'm selfish or something.

DAMN GUYS. Chill. please. I know you're cold and miserable here, but take 2 seconds not to hyperventilate and want to strangle me. (and then people wonder why I pull away and hide.)

In a way it's good to be home for a bit. Kinda. I got to see in Ani Difranco with my parents (Yeah yeah yeah... listen to her latest album, and THEN feel free to judge me.) and it was grounding. I'm surprised by the number of misadventures i've already had while just trying to exist in public. (Some of the misadventures I had run from... Take everything in stride.)

My main projects while back include a huge garage sale... Yes, i'm getting rid of EVERYTHING in storage so I can go be a Jesuit. HAHA! Not really... but I am getting rid of all of my stuff. I just don't need it.

I've gotta figure out where I'll be going to next.. Palau? Shanghai? Who knows... Still hanging in Limbo from the last 7 months. I'm building quite the resistance :)

The Final Update: Leaving the Hill

I'll be leaving for Cleveland, Ohio on the 4th. I don't regret any of my decisions.

First and foremost, I have declined this years offer to start at Boston College, on account of the number of questions that remained unanswered. I waited for a month to hear from Charlie before he showed up at Xavier to visit Emily, and at that, he sent me the details/ handbook only a few days before my final decision... and I had questions. The contract brought up more questions, and with almost no time to take everything into consideration before my signing, I found that a split second leap wasn't the best idea. I needed more time... something Charlie couldn't give me.

So i'm here... waiting for the wave to sweep me away. None of my uncertainties require me to act immediately. The relationships i've formed here in Chuuk are deep. The Sapuukians have grown on me, and i'll miss our limited interactions. Brenda (Not a Sapuukian, but egh)  Mitigo, Russ, Atnes, Katsuo, Apo, Cernina, Jose, Mary, Lisa... I didn't think I'd grow so close.

Of course the Xavierites I'll miss more every day as reality sinks in. I haven't much to say about it  right now. I'm glad I have so many pictures of them and from them.

The Xavier faculty...I guess I don't have anything in english to say about this loss either... It's going to take a while to sink in; it doesn't seem real. I've been preparing for the day that I leave since I found myself discarded. I don't think I'll cry on the plane leaving Chuuk, or when we all part ways one final time. However, nights will hard for me.

What a perfectly awesome and strange adventure I've had: Trips along the road made of moon-craters, the curvey horizon stretching on and on, screaming girls throwing metal chairs, Boys...spitting...always, black magic on Octopus Mountain, Uurohs, Ant and Lizard invasions, Fresh mangos, butt-kicking Roby girls, horrible music, complaints of mackerel and requests to "hack" the wifi, AM screeching about beef jerky, reliving the life of Sylvia Plath through Mr. Takenori, Sensei's laugh before brutally denying you, Sapuuk's nasally singing... I could go on and on.

Maybe i'll end up in Palau... Maybe Shanghai.... maybe the Marshalls. I know for certain i'll be back to Weno this summer to give Kalani art lessons, and work toward becoming a dive master. I love my life.

Congrats Primordians!!! Class of 2019!!!